Best man speech advice | Vital Football

Best man speech advice

S

ScottDaYid

Vital Football Legend
Ok so I've got the duty of being best man in about a months time and it's fair to say I'm shitting myself.

Any advice/tips for me...

:hmmm::poop:
 
I did it a good while ago and found some great ideas for the speech on the internet , you just have to adapt bits and pieces to suit your own circumstances . I got so wound up and nervous about my speech that I couldn’t eat my meal at the wedding reception so I’m not much help there . I was given a tip that if you imagine that everyone is naked as you are stood up talking it really helps but I’m not sure the bloke who told me that wasn’t a perv .
Seriously though Scott there are millions of ideas , jokes , videos on the web . Good luck . I’m sure there are more on here than can help you better than me , my last piece of advice is to take no notice of what greavesie says ha ha :help:
 
Scott you may well listen to Walthy and ignore me....at your peril ha ha.

I strongly suggest you do not spill too much dirt on your mate as it may be he has not divulged these things to his bride to be!

Sometimes it is sensible to talk to him about the gist of your humour or at least ask him if there is anything he knows that you know that must stay between you both and not broadcast to the universe! .

Keep what you say relevant to them both and resist the urge to relate things to your own experience as it is THEIR DAY, not yours.

Practice practice practice until you know it almost off pat....your confidence will be sky high as you look in the mirror by the end and not look at your handwriiten speech, which will happen at the start but will lessen...so eventually you will be looking in the mirror for the whole speech wooohoooo.

Only then can you stand up with confidence / and only need a small bit of paper with key words on to 'prompt you' into recalling your speech and ovecome nerves. ...do the mirror trick and you wont need any paper!

DO NOT DRINK Alcohol at all until after the speech BUT do have ONE and only one shot of whiskey just before hand.

Good luck mate...you can do it!

(Feck off Walthy ha ha or feel free to add advice)
 
My advice is practice on family and friends, this will ease the nerves a bit , obviously shame the groom without crossing the line.
As an opener bring out a long and seemingly never ending scroll of paper ......then say, I'll keep it brief....This is the short version !!

If you have a microphone there is a great routine by Brian Gittins where he fiddles with the microphone and takes it apart like an idiot then can't put it back together , then has to get help from a stage hand who fixes it, then Brian takes it apart again and trips over the stand. Very awkward humour .
 
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Dont do what my brother did at our wedding.
I was a bit of a tearaway as a kid.
He started by saying to the guests 'Does everyone know that my brother managed to get himself arrested at school for stealing a bus?'

All of her family are posh lawyers. Her uncle is a really famous QC. You could have heard a pin drop....

One of the best man speeches was from my brother in law. He recounted some old stories of their inter railing trip. It was hilarious. Juvinile pranks that seem horrendous now that you are an adult.

Short and sweet and don't rely on props.

Or try here.
Www.greatspeechwriting.co.uk
Blokes name is Lawrence.
 
I have seen some shockers over the years. Unfortunately if you ain't a natural at public speaking you will struggle.

I remember when I was a best man, roasted the groom and then the wife. Didn't go down well but I thought it was hilarious so didn't give a shit. Never liked the bitch anyway.
 
Real Deal said:
I have seen some shockers over the years. Unfortunately if you ain't a natural at public speaking you will struggle.

I remember when I was a best man, roasted the groom and then the wife. Didn't go down well but I thought it was hilarious so didn't give a shit. Never liked the bitch anyway.
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My advice is don't take RD's on this one.
 
We are giving Scott so much good advice here, he is so lucky. Trouble is I bullshited my advice and I suspect so is everyone else.
 
Greavswasthegreatest said:
Scott you may well listen to Walthy and ignore me....at your peril ha ha.

I strongly suggest you do not spill too much dirt on your mate as it may be he has not divulged these things to his bride to be!

Sometimes it is sensible to talk to him about the gist of your humour or at least ask him if there is anything he knows that you know that must stay between you both and not broadcast to the universe! .

Keep what you say relevant to them both and resist the urge to relate things to your own experience as it is THEIR DAY, not yours.

Practice practice practice until you know it almost off pat....your confidence will be sky high as you look in the mirror by the end and not look at your handwriiten speech, which will happen at the start but will lessen...so eventually you will be looking in the mirror for the whole speech wooohoooo.

Only then can you stand up with confidence / and only need a small bit of paper with key words on to 'prompt you' into recalling your speech and ovecome nerves. ...do the mirror trick and you wont need any paper!

DO NOT DRINK Alcohol at all until after the speech BUT do have ONE and only one shot of whiskey just before hand.

Good luck mate...you can do it!

(Feck off Walthy ha ha or feel free to add advice)
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Ha ha Great advice greavesie Should have had you by my side when I did it ! Where was you. I had a piece in my speech where i spoke about the groom saying his vows to love honour , obey and embrace poverty ! You could hear the whoosh of the daggers his wife’s eyes shot at me !
 
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ScottDaYid said:
Ok so I've got the duty of being best man in about a months time and it's fair to say I'm shitting myself.

Any advice/tips for me...

:hmmm::poop:
Click to expand...

My brother-in-law at his best friends wedding: Ian used to think a date was a case of beer, a pizza and a motel room.

Crickets.

I have to speak somewhat regularly. So here is how I do it and have always done it.

Write the speech the way you would normally speak.

Leave 5-6 line gaps on the page between each point. It's easier to pick up where you left off when you look down at the page again.

Each point should be written the way you want to say it but it doesn't have to be exact when you actually do say it.

NO ONE will ever get criticized for being brief.
 
So far the advice is have a really small piece of paper and a really long fake piece, space out the lines with big gaps so on the small piece it's one point each side basically.

Imagine everyone is naked but try not to get a boner in the process.

Be really rude about the couple and incriminate the groom on past crimes.

Should go well.
 
hahahaha some mixed advice there, cheers!

I've spoken to plenty of people recently and I'd say everyone has told me a horror story involving either them or a mate. Seems even the most confident people struggle.

I've read you don't want to be much longer than 5 minutes, I'm sure I can just about manage that...
 
ScottDaYid said:
hahahaha some mixed advice there, cheers!

I've spoken to plenty of people recently and I'd say everyone has told me a horror story involving either them or a mate. Seems even the most confident people struggle.

I've read you don't want to be much longer than 5 minutes, I'm sure I can just about manage that...
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That’s weird , my wife has told me I’ve never ever done that . Maybe she got her wires crossed
 
ScottDaYid said:
hahahaha some mixed advice there, cheers!

I've spoken to plenty of people recently and I'd say everyone has told me a horror story involving either them or a mate. Seems even the most confident people struggle.

I've read you don't want to be much longer than 5 minutes, I'm sure I can just about manage that...
Click to expand...

Much depends on how comfortable you are speaking publicly; if you're confident in your own ability you won't have to practice that much - and if you don't as long as you have key bullet points (personal anecdotes about the bride and the groom) and something about how you know him/them - you're on your way.

Make sure that everyone has had plenty to drink - apart from yourself, nothing worse than listening to a drunk ramble on - if you can fit in jokes/funny stories early on about them and if you can a bit about the parents always goes down well.

Make sure you make bullet points you can follow!

4-8 mins is a good time - if you have the memory and the material (content) to fill it well and keep everyone smiling and laughing.

Best of luck.
 
Spursex said:
Much depends on how comfortable you are speaking publicly; if you're confident in your own ability you won't have to practice that much - and if you don't as long as you have key bullet points (personal anecdotes about the bride and the groom) and something about how you know him/them - you're on your way.

Make sure that everyone has had plenty to drink - apart from yourself, nothing worse than listening to a drunk ramble on - if you can fit in jokes/funny stories early on about them and if you can a bit about the parents always goes down well.

Make sure you make bullet points you can follow!

4-8 mins is a good time - if you have the memory and the material (content) to fill it well and keep everyone smiling and laughing.

Best of luck.
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About as uncomfortable as Sissoko is shooting!

I've started to practice and not so bad so far but obviously a different kettle of fish in front of 120 people. Oh well it's either going to go 1 of 2 ways, I'll let you all know how miserably I fail in 3 weeks time...
 
ScottDaYid said:
About as uncomfortable as Sissoko is shooting!

I've started to practice and not so bad so far but obviously a different kettle of fish in front of 120 people. Oh well it's either going to go 1 of 2 ways, I'll let you all know how miserably I fail in 3 weeks time...
Click to expand...

Practice standing up - time yourself - and focus on the back of the room; it helps you to ignore the 120 people sitting there giving you flack!

This will help:

https://www.thestagcompany.com/stag-do-ideas/best-mans-speech

Good luck!
 
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