A-Z Of Jokes | Vital Football

A-Z Of Jokes

herringthorpe

Alert Team
Staff member
Not sure how far we will get but . . .

This can be any joke and if we can't think of a joke beginning with a certain letter then it can be anything else funny or have a word in the joke beginning with the letter - if this makes sense.

Let's see how we get on


A A man's car breaks down in the middle of the night. He knows the area well and realizes that the quickest way to the nearest service station is through an old graveyard...
He's walking along the headstones when in the distance he hears a faint tapping noise. As he gets deeper into the graveyard, the eerie tapping gets louder and louder. He very anxiously turns a corner and sees the source of the tapping is an old man with a hammer and chisel, hunched over a headstone.

Relief washes over him and he says, "I was beginning to freak out because of that noise. I thought this place might have been haunted. What on earth are you doing here so late at night anyway?"

The old man merely continues chiselling and says "They spelled my name wrong."
 
B Banana skins - slipping on them often featured in the old "silent movie" comedy films eg with actors like Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, etc
 
Last edited:
D Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's ok, he woke up!

When I was a child at Brinsworth Infants school, there was a fellow pupil who had some type of sleeping disorder. The teacher would often say "Has anybody seen...? ". He was once found curled up asleep under the classroom sink - he was like the school cat!
 
Last edited:
When I worked at school we had a little girl the same - she once fell to sleep taking her coat off after play time mid-action!

E (What is) ET short for?

Because he's got little legs.
 
J Jester - brightly dressed entertainer, often employed by medieval monarchs/noblemen to tell jokes and humorous stories, perform juggling, etc. Represented by the Joker in packs of playing cards.
 
Last edited:
L Lorenz's "Law of mechanical repair" - as soon as your hands are covered in grease, your nose will begin to itch.
... or ... lift jokes are often good - they work on many different levels
 
O One Liners - short jokes - for instance, I didn’t think orthopaedic shoes would help, but I stand corrected