A drinker like me | Vital Football

A drinker like me

The Fear

The Fear

A Wise Man (once sat next to him)
Has anyone watched the BBC programme, presented by Adrian Chiles?

I'm not a big fan of him, I must admit. But quite an interesting programme. So many issues from booze and people are kidding themselves they aren't addicted. It is right people don't identify themselves as alchies if they don't do x, y or z (eg if you don't feel like a drink in the morning, or as one on the show says, because she's not sick.

One of the guys he interviews, who is obese (or morbidly obese), won't help himself, too much drink and food, and yet the NHS provides drugs for heart, blood pressure, etc etc.

Not sure that is where the stretched resources should be paying towards people's stupidity. Should it?

Chiles parents don't help, his dad thinks it is boring not drinking and his mom thinks depression doesn't exist. Don't suppose with that sort of background, the guy stood a chance.
 
What sort of drinker are you? Do you have problem that you would admit to? Why do you drink?

I do think people assume they can't have a good time without booze. I found out after my op that you can, as I wasn't able to drink for a long time. I now don't really like the odd drink when out. When we go out for a curry my mates will have 2, or 2 1/2 (when driiving) I rarely bother.

What I do like and wouldn't want to not do, is the odd blow out. Sometimes that's 1 a month, sometimes I go a couple of months without any or much alcohol at all.
 
Not for me. It helped that I don't like the taste of beer which rules out Mild etc and I don't like fizzy drinks so Lager is out. In my younger days and with the social side of sport then a Saturday night after a game could get messy , but I would drink wine or whisky.

I do enjoy a glass of wine or a nice scotch nowadays , but I can quite happily go out and enjoy it without needing a drink.

Besides when the kids were born the thought of getting up at 6am with a hangover turned me off completely and it must be 22 years since I was properly drunk.
 
When I am home with my family I don't drink any alcohol full stop because I made a promise to myself that my family would never go through what we did as kids when the old man used to come home on the weekends pissed and annoying.

I can go at least 6 months without any alcohol and it honestly doesn't bother me but when I visit the UK by myself for a holiday and take in a Villa game etc I will drink - Likewise, if I go to Las Vegas by myself ( I enjoy my own company!) then having alcohol seems to blend in with everything you do in Vegas and it's enjoyable.

However, If we go away as a family again completely no alcohol at all.

The thing that seems to help me is because I know I could have a drink at any time then I am not bothered or feel the need to want any but if you said you can not drink then perhaps I'd want it more if that makes sense!?

I don't know If that makes me an alcoholic or not but I'm told by my doctor that I'm in great health so I can't be that bad a drinker?

Finally, if something bad happened in my life the last thing I would do is to seek a drink because the answer is never in the bottom of a glass.
 
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Alcoholism isn't a choice of life. No one grows up with the idea that ''ooh I think I will grow up and be an alcoholic and fcuk my life and those around me lives up''

I was very borderline with drink. I got ''lucky'' and got off the escalator early re drink was concerned. The ism was what needed treating. I.S.M being I Self Me. I stayed dry for 2 years without the fellowship. I had emotional rock bottom which took me back in their. I didn't pick up again, however the ''monkey'' was on the shoulder, so to speak, and I knew I had to go back or I would.

I needed the steps to treat the I.S.M. As the fellowship has evolved it has become in up to date terms a self care program, a self help worldwide fellowship which provides as the treatment services call us ''aftercare'' which is lifelong if that is how the person chooses to go.

The program is about living. I don't have a drink problem if I am not drinking. What's my problem? The common denominator is ME. I am the problem and the program is about living soberly.

Regarding what alcoholism is: there is a world of misinformation out their about it. Dysfunctional drinking is celebrated in this country and others too.

There is a difference between a heaver drinker, binge drinker and someone who is addicted. Alot of our fellowship is what you would call binge drinkers. Many of us could stop and stay stopped a while. For me it was a long time, as I have said above. The problem is if I pick up a drink is I cannot guarantee you what is going to happen. That's why I don't drink.

The difference is that we (and certainly I was) binge alcoholic because once I had the first drink it set off a phenomenon of craving. An allergy we call it.

Our allergy doesn't mean we come out in spots. We come out in bottles, chaos, police stations, courts and so on, to whatever the story is.

Go to any 12 step meeting and you will find people from all walks of life: famous people, including footballers, film stars, comedians, TV stars and presenters, Soap stars, Doctors, Consultants, Teachers, Mr and M|rs Joe Blogs, Armed Forces, Vets ad infinite. The scariest one for me is the pilots in the fellowship.

There is so much misunderstanding over what alcoholism is out there. The government services actively advocate 12 step programs now as we are free.

For me I was never keen on alcohol. It became a solution to stress, pain and not knowing how to do things differently. My dysfunctional drinking was over 3 years. I was an evening drinker and a ''functioning'' drunk until I couldn't function anymore.

Everyone is different. Drinking wasn't problematic when I was young, though I know today I was always searching for something to fix me as life had been difficult from childhood and I recreated what I knew.

None of my family think I am alcoholic, or sober alcoholic as I say today. It's my choice to say that is what I am as it reminds me the damage drink can do to me. The reasons I drank weren't normal and when I tried to control it I couldn't.

If alcohol was introduced today it would be a Class A banned drug. The cost to this country is far beyond what people realise.

I am not anti-drink. Millions can drink it normally. Millions can't, Millions like myself are in recovery.

I don't hang around with people who are drinkers cos it's not what I do. I did pre recovery. You flock to your own type. I do have a few friendships with people that can enjoy a drink. That is the crux of it.

They can enjoy ''a'' drink and don't want anymore. They can take it or leave it. I can't. I wouldn't risk 15 and a half years of sobriety for one drink to test the theory either. One drink or life. I choose life. I cannot drink safely. End of.

The fellowship works on the members staying around to carry the message. There are alot of 12 step programs using the same message but for whatever the issue is. N.A (Narcotics) C.A (Cocaine) S.A (Shopaholics) S.A (Sex addicts) CH.A (Children's anonymous! Yeah I know LOL) W.A (Workaholics) CODA (For emotional issues with no specific subject) and many more.

To clear up, anyone wondering, Ch.A which is Children's Anonymous is a program implemented by treatment centre's for people who have been abusive to children in some way shape or form. If it stops one person re-offending or offending then it is worth it

I haven't seen the program yet however will catch up with it on catch up TV at some stage.

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P.S:
Just watching it now: I laughed at the irony and with sadness with the guy who has just said ''he knew he was addicted but he wasn't alcoholic'' Der! What! I laughed but it isn't funny.

NHS says it costs them £47 billion a year. Then you have the police, courts, prisons, all departments of the social services so you can double that and there are more services than I have said on top
 
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I drink far too regularly to be honest, but it's not a problem in the sense that I do stupid things that I regret, or it changes my personality, or I black out and can't remember what I've done the night before.

I don't know if it's a high tolerance or whatever but I'm always among the last standing at any major session like a wedding or party etc. Luckily most of my friends are the same, we get pissed and have a good time, no fighting or causing trouble. One friend though does become a complete Henry Sellars, but he rarely drinks now because he knows it's not good for him.

My father was an alcoholic, but I don't seem have the same traits he did thankfully.
 
I do not massively enjoy the taste of alcohol which thankfully rules out regular “casual” drinking for me. I can go on the occasional 1 night piss up here and there so I wouldn’t class myself as “tea total” or anything but it is not a regular thing.

A lot of younger adults binge drink on weekends which typical gets all the rap for “problem drinkers” but it is actually the people who drink regularly (i.e. most days) but what they think is a “moderate” who are most likely to develop problems.

For me I cannot understand how someone has to have beer virtually every day but doesn’t think this is a problem. I agree with one of the earlier posts I think some people think problem drinking or alcoholism is something else; being too drunk to get out of bed in the morning, or unable hold down a job etc but sometimes it is simply just drinking too much . It pains me to see people acting so irresponsibly to themselves - I have one mate in particular I struggle to see him reaching his 40s, he claims he drinks up to 10 pints most nights, worst thing is his dad only passed away 18 months ago due to a horrible cancer linked to long term excessive drinking if that doesn’t put someone off drinking then nothing will
 
Having now watched the whole program I have concluded this: it is unlikely this man will beable to keep, long-term control on his drinking habit and I suspect if interviewed again in a years time and he was being totally honest, it will have crept back up.

His Dad's drinking was also clearly dysfunctional too. His Dad had only cut back because of a blood cut. He wasn't supposed to drink at all however still did.

The Mom was an enabler too. She hadn't much clue about anything as she said depression doesn't exist, which sums it all up.

I was waiting to see if they would introduce any recovery programs. He went the way of SMART which is a secular watered down version of A.A with meetings and no program.

I knew they wouldn't fully do A.A as we are anonymous and there is no way that the camera's would get near our meetings.

SMART: my thoughts on are it is better than nothing if you want to stop or/and cut down your drinking. The majority who start with SMART who continue long-term sobriety transfer over to a 12 step fellowship as it offers the structure SMART doesn't and the 12 steps, with people with sobriety ranging from a day to 30 plus years.

Being also an independent member of an umbrella recovery forum which covers all the services networking together in York I observe alot of what goes on and digest, here and around the country as through the forum I am also involved on another level.

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David ''many will chase this illness into the gates of hell still denying it's a problem'' I see it everyday with what I do. You learn to detach with compassion. You have to, to survive in this field

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SJH doesn't sound like you have a problem. You are aware you drink too much and binge it. You can be a binge drinker and not be alcoholic. Doesn't mean bingeing is any good for you. You know that.

Really what we say is ''it's not about how much you drink, or how often, it's about what happens when you drink'' We also say ''if drink is costing you more than money, then you generally need help'' if you wish to get it. Someone can know they have a problem with it however don't want help so there is no point trying to make someone do something about there drinking, if they don't want too.

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For information purposes if anyone reading this has someone around them whose drinking they are worried about, there is a family and friends 12 step program called Al-Anon for support. A badly kept secret which shouldn't be, though recognition of it is getting better. We do call it a family illness as it affects everyone who is worried about the drinker.

I also attend that, on/off (I have one 12 step program so I don't confuse it, is why I don't go all the time) as needed, as the ex is alcoholic not in recovery. His drinking affected me and mine. My daughter is still in contact with him (the only one of the 4) and I often get calls about ''what he's done now'' etc. so it is useful for me too and it would be for her however she won't go. My lads have gone in the past on David's and I recommendation and support

http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/
 
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I used to be an active member of CAMRA (Campaign for Real Ale). Then I travelled to SE Asia. I cut down my intake due to the fact it was all bottled lager style stuff, ie fizzy stuff. By the time I got to Indonesia I was down to a bottle of beer per night out. Instead I'd go made on Iced Lemon Tea!

Since my return to the UK, I have carried on my new regime - though not so much Iced Lemon Tea and not so much alcohol. These days, I go to a pub, once per week or fortnight and have a maximum 2 pints of proper beer (real ale).

Fortunately, I am in full control of my alcohol intake and always have been.
 
My alcohol consumption has gone right down in the past year .Since we bought Melon pooch. I never drank in the week but Friday night I used to quite easily sink 4/5 pints at home , couple on Saturday and couple on Sunday. It all adds up. Melon pooch, in the same way kids do, means early mornings and I just cannot be bothered with a thick head early doors so cut right down and I like it.

So may have one bottle or pint on a Friday night, same Saturday and Sunday , sometimes not even that. And I do not miss having 'more of a drink'at all. You just get into the groove of it but the main thing is the the weight loss associated with it. Getting out with the dog, more CV and less weight based exercise,and cutting a bit in portion size has helped but I'm convinced that my weight loss is massively due to reduction in drinking alcohol. I reckon 3 1/2 to 4 stone over the year. Probably gone to far to be honest, i needed to lose a bit but Mrs Melon thinks I could do with putting half a stone on. But like I say it's easy to forget the calories in alcohol and that factor.

Very rarely have a big blow out either. And if I do nowhere near like I used to. April was the last time I was properly wasted, at a friends wedding. I am a happy drunk, so getting wasted is not an issue.

Brings me onto the effect of alcohol. We are experiencing it first hand with a friend who's husband is losing the plot and has been for years. We were all best friends , wonderful kids with similar age to ours , spend weekends together my. Unknown to us he is a proper raging binge alcoholic and she and him had kept it hidden from us for years. We always knew he liked a drink, he is from Irish background and his dad had an issue with drink but we never thought he had to that extent. We would get together and as friends do catch up and have a good drink, sometimes he would stop before me, but no sign of this massive issue. He is a professional worker in a respected job. Then three years ago it all kicked off and the wife's told us the hell that had been going on for years with him disappearing for days on end for binges , she didn't know where he was He would then turn back at home and then nothing for weeks then ...same thing again... getting more frequent as time went on and it was pretty much weekly.
Cut a long story short it's now very messy, nasty (on his part) and quite frankly he needs a good slap. He has lost the plot .But our friend has to play the game to get what she wants from the divorce for her and the kid futures and let things play out because he is not going to come out of this very well. It would never surprise me if the worst happened to him but he literally cannot be helped as he will not acknowledge his problem in the slightest
In short, a bloody mess caused by demon drink and clearly the effect of his upbringing with an alcoholic father plays a massive part. Sad
 
Melon Donkey said:
In short, a bloody mess caused by demon drink and clearly the effect of his upbringing with an alcoholic father plays a massive part. Sad
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Awful to see isn't it?

The Chiles programme has a guy who so obviously doesn't want to help himself, it's not just drink by the looks of it, food as well. As I say in my post, I'm not sure the NHS should be propping these people with drugs to control blood pressure, cholestrol etc just for them to keep doing all the things causing the issues.

Harsh I know, but budgets are limited and if you don't want to help yourself, why should anyone else have to foot the bill to help you?
 
My alcohol consumption tends to be linked to other things. i.e. I like a beer with a curry, and I like a beer when watching football.

Other than that i don't really drink at home at all.

I'd class myself as more of a binge drinker, in that when I'm out with friends I don't really have an off switch so I just drink until I'm in a bit of a mess. Doesn't happen as regularly as it used to now though, simply coz I'm older and have a family so don't go out as much as I used to.
 
MD if you read my 2nd post in this thread you will see there is a link to Al-Anon which is the support network for people who have someone in or out of their lives who has problems with alcohol

Everything you describe she has done (covering for him etc) is usual. She will find this fellowship useful for her own mental health well being and that of her children too. There maybe an Al-Ateen in her area foo that her youngsters can attend. Likewise they can go with her to Al-Anon
 
DeanoVilla said:
My alcohol consumption tends to be linked to other things. i.e. I like a beer with a curry, and I like a beer when watching football.

Other than that i don't really drink at home at all.

I'd class myself as more of a binge drinker, in that when I'm out with friends I don't really have an off switch so I just drink until I'm in a bit of a mess. Doesn't happen as regularly as it used to now though, simply coz I'm older and have a family so don't go out as much as I used to.
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Aye, I think we got a bit out of hand at one stage, Buddy has saved us all !

I rarely drink at home, this year before the kidney op I had got into the habit of a bottle of fruit cider (500mg) each night. Now I've had the op and am back in the gym though, I don't.

The odd red wine (I have those mini bottles) and that's about it.

I don't drink the odd one or two when out with you guys for a curry, but same as you, like a proper session. So the same, bit of a binge drinker.
 
I find it curious that there is very little awareness of the side effects of alcohol. Cannabis and LSD are lumped in with heroin, cigarettes are sold with massive warning labels but alcohol is seen as a down-side free way to get 'high'.

I have a mate who is a recovering alcoholic who substituted his alcoholism for weed and then for pills. He takes 24 nurofen plus per day. He has to go all over town so that he isn't recognised in the pharmacies. They will stop selling him Nurofen if they recognise him as a repeat buyer. Still, he could buy a car full of booze every morning and nobody would ever stop him.
 
BodyButter said:
I find it curious that there is very little awareness of the side effects of alcohol. Cannabis and LSD are lumped in with heroin, cigarettes are sold with massive warning labels but alcohol is seen as a down-side free way to get 'high'.

I have a mate who is a recovering alcoholic who substituted his alcoholism for weed and then for pills. He takes 24 nurofen plus per day. He has to go all over town so that he isn't recognised in the pharmacies. They will stop selling him Nurofen if they recognise him as a repeat buyer. Still, he could buy a car full of booze every morning and nobody would ever stop him.
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There is awareness and much info out there however the other side of the coin is that dysfunctional drinking is celebrated.

Because people don't want to look at their drinking and the government don't really want to address it because of the revenue they will lose like they have over the years with smoking, the drinking and it affects whilst addressed has not been given the high profile it should be.

There are various regular articles coming out in the news, however it's just an article. It isn't taken further.

People tend to ignore these articles cos they are drinkers. I suppose I see much more of the awareness there is because it's my field.

The other problem you have is so many don't relate there drink intake up with depression and stress. The medical profession are starting to ask more questions however the majority of people lie or/and have no idea and guess.

Usually if someone says 20 units a week, the medical profession double that up. It is difficult to work with people who aren't truthful.

So many are by the skin of their teeth are holding down jobs, families, have cars and nice homes so they don't see the problem until things start to go and by then they are in the grip of it.

It's a complex issue which the recovery services acknowledge they will probably only ever scratch the surface of.

People don't realise the dangers who aren't alcoholics either. Getting into fights, falling over and hitting their heads, being sick in their sleep are just some of the way that people can die and have through drink.

People also don't realise that every part of the body is affected by drink. It is not just the liver. The liver is the last thing to go.

I have sat at bedsides in the hospitals 12 stepping (carrying the message) as we work with our local hospital, with people who are yellow, eyes look like stale hard boiled eggs, who have lost limbs and so on and they still don't think they need help.

It's an illness of denial and denial isn't just in Egypt.

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This is an article that appeared on Sky news last week. Nothing more heard about it or commented on. In the recovery industry yes. General No. Here's the link:

https://news.sky.com/story/no-safe-level-of-alcohol-consumption-global-study-finds-11480718
 
Agree with what you are saying BB. As one researcher / doc said on the Chiles show, if it was a new substance, it would be banned.

Decent drink we had in KL last year !
 
The Fear said:
Agree with what you are saying BB. As one researcher / doc said on the Chiles show, if it was a new substance, it would be banned.

Decent drink we had in KL last year !
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Yeah, that was fun.

I don't drink very much these days but I'm not against alcohol. As with everything else, I think that you should be allowed to take anything you like as long as you are aware of the risks. If people want to smoke, despite all of those health warnings, let them at it.
 
Agree, although I don't think the national health should have to pick up the bill for our informed decisions.

Anyone agree? Example, the bloke I talk about above.

It's fine if we had the money, but the country doesn't, so why not help those who want to help themselves?
 
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