Right, I've done plenty of poems for Mudhutter, but here's a poem/song I wrote the to tune of the St Winifred's School Choir No 1 hit, "Grandma, we love you". It was for a school PTA show that we do every year.
It seems especially poignant at this time, when so many of them (Grandmas) are in isolation.
So, to help bring a little sunshine, why not send it to your Grandma, Mum or wife ......... if you thing it would brighten their day, as opposed to getting you clobbered!
Grandma
Girls
Grandma, we love you, Grandma we do
Even though you stink of pee, we still love you
There's no-one quite like Grandma, I'm sure you will agree,
She's a little glass by her bedside , where she keeps her false teeth
There's no-one quite like Grandma, she'd deaf but oh so proud
She just won't wear a hearing aid, so her
telly's far radio's too loud
Grandma, we love you, Grandma we do
Your whiskers give me stubble rash, but we still love you
Grandmas
It's nice to be a Grandma, even if you smell a bit
Just as long as it's just wee, and you don't pong of sh**
("Grandma !" shout the girls)
It's lovely being a Grandma, people think you're not all there
But Grandad knows who wears the pants, let him argue if he dare
Girls
Grandma, we love you, Grandma we do
With your droopy boobs and bandy legs, we still love you
There's no-one quite like Grandma, she's got a nice warm heart,
But every time that she stands up, she lets out a little fart
There's no-one quite like Grandma, that's what my Grandad said
They used to make love every day, now it's once a year instead
("on his birthday!" shout G'mas)
Grandma, we love you, Grandma we do
Your mouth is too big for your teeth, but we still love you
Grandmas
Some day you'll be a Grandma, with grandchildren of your own
Your boyfriend will be like your Grandad, all he'll do is grumble and moan
And when you are a Grandma, just don't you forget
Your Tena-lady is your best friend, to keep you from getting wet
Grandma, we love you, Grandma we do
Even though you stink of pee, we still love you,
Grandma, we love you, Grandma we do
Everyone loves their Grandma,
and Grandad too ...................we do.