10 conversations to have before you get married.

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Guest

Guest
Laura Berman, PhD, is a leading sex and relationship educator and therapist, popular TV and radio host, New York Times best-selling author, and assistant clinical professor of ob-gyn and psychiatry at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University in Chicago.

She has come up with 10 conversations you should have before you get wed;

1. Talk about what marriage means to you both.
2. Talk about opinions on children.
3. Address sexual goals, passion.
4. Share thoughts on discipline.
5. Discuss religion.
6. Discuss money, credit history.
7. Discuss each of your roles in parental responsibilities.
8. Discuss household roles.
9. Discuss bill paying, responsibilities.
10. Discuss your life's goals with each other.

Seems pretty straight forward and sensible. If you get through lot without splitting up, chances are maybe a successful marriage?
 
Interesting that as I was just reading an article this morning about the psychology of marriage. Good to link the 2 I think, without starting another post. It is a long however worth the read


http://www.philosophersmail.com/relationships/how-we-end-up-marrying-the-wrong-people/
 
I was thinking more along the lines of :
Can you iron
Can you cook
Do you know how to vacuum
and..how are your knees ? :17:


....Predictable as ever !!
 
Clubpaver - 5/7/2014 11:49

I was thinking more along the lines of :
Can you iron
Can you cook
Do you know how to vacuum
and..how are your knees ? :17:


....Predictable as ever !!
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The questions back?

How much do you earn?
Do you have a mega sperm count?
Will you treat me like a Princess?
In my case will you take me to the football even if you don't support them?

Last 2 apply with Mr K. 1st 2 nah (Mr K ain't rich in the literal terms) and we were in our 40'w when we met so nah nah nah
 
Clubpaver - 5/7/2014 12:02

I got off lightly there Kefket.
I was expecting a right old bollocking :17:
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:19: :15: :19:

The majority of your posts make me giggle and I like the light hearted side to you, or at least I presume they are lighthearted! Hmm! You got me thinking now. Would you like a telling off?. Yeah probably :15:
 
Interesting points I must say. Though I think some tend to blend into others. Also, I feel some of the points are of more importance on the age of individuals.....

Just my penneth worth....
 
agree with heath (wahoooo) dont bother getting married. what a waste of money. with the 20,000 buy a house with an extra bedroom or go on four amazing holidays
 
Me and the Mrs have been engaged for about 7 years now lol (dunno if there is an expiry date on engagement btw lol) and i really see no need to get married, like i said to the Mrs you am blessed to have me ;) so another ring and money spent for a piece of paper saying married means little to what actually live like, me in the kitchen or garden staying as far away as possible will not change married or engaged lol
 
1. Talk about what marriage means to you both - isn't it when 2 people tie the knot?

2. Talk about opinions on children - Isn't that when the sex makes a little person that has my nose and your ears?

3. Address sexual goals, passion - As long as you can do reverse cowgirl we'll be inseparable

4. Share thoughts on discipline - I do like the kinky also

5. Discuss religion - Christianity = bollocks, Hinduism = bollocks, Judaism = bollocks, Islam = bollocks, Scientology = funny etc......

6. Discuss money, credit history - we are skint :10:

7. Discuss each of your roles in parental responsibilities - you feed baby will you, I'm going to the pub

8. Discuss household roles - can you please make sure the house is clean for when I get home, I know you actually work harder than me but I think you're the best at cleaning and cooking etc....

9. Discuss bill paying, responsibilities - Oh so you expect me to do 50% of the housework but pay 75% of the bills, nice one!

10. Discuss your life's goals with each other - Do you think Paul Merson meant that chip all those years ago?
 
It's the religion one for me. Often wondered if I fell in love with a catholic what would happen as I couldn't convert or jump through the hoops that you have to.

I don't think I would ever have been able to marry a practising Christian or any other religion.

Is that bad or just realistic and honest!?

Be awful of me to give vows that meant nothing to me really wouldn't it?

But then I've never felt marriage was on the cards for me anyway.
 
There ain't nobody good enough for our Fear that's why you ain't married yet :14:
 
The Fear - 5/7/2014 14:11

It's the religion one for me. Often wondered if I fell in love with a catholic what would happen as I couldn't convert or jump through the hoops that you have to.

I don't think I would ever have been able to marry a practising Christian or any other religion.

Is that bad or just realistic and honest!?

Be awful of me to give vows that meant nothing to me really wouldn't it?

But then I've never felt marriage was on the cards for me anyway.
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I don't think we need to worry, Fear. I don't think we'd actually be able to fall in love with someone that would insist we convert. Is that really the type of person you would fall for?
 
My sister has been divorced twice. Marriage means different things than it did years ago, when I married my wife a couple of years ago, we married in a lovely hotel in St Ives and had no religious elements at all, we both agreed getting married in a church would be hypocritical given that neither of us believe in god.

We were engaged for about 6 years when we tied the knot, an ex colleague of mine got married a month after we had, he's already getting divorced, there whole relationship lasted about 4 years, so I think that people getting married would be better off just waiting, making sure that they want to be together forever. All easy to say of course, every relationship is different, but I certainly wouldn't sit and read a list and check it off, life is more complicated than that.

It cost a bloody fortune, and I wish we had put the money towards a house, but then again it was literally the best day of my life, your memories last with you and are special, sometimes.

 
Yup, agreed Heath. It was more with me an interesting thought process of how I would go for a person I fell in love with. I would probably be stupid enough to break my heart to stand by my principles lol.

 
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