Monday joke (ng) | Page 14 | Vital Football

Monday joke (ng)

Gerry Maloney finds out the IRA bookkeeper of 20 years, Mickey, has cheated him out of £10 million. Mickey is deaf which is why he got the job in the first place. Gerry assumed that since Mickey could not hear anything, he could never testify against Gerry or any of the boys. Gerry goes to confront Mickey about the missing £10 million. He takes along his personal minder because he knows sign language. Gerry tells the minder, ‟Ask him where the money is!” The minder, using sign language, asks Mickey, ‟Where‘s the money?” Mickey signs back, ‟I do not know what you are talking about.” The Minder tells Gerry, ‟He says he doesn‘t know what you are talking about.” Gerry pulls out a pistol, puts it to Mickey's head and says, ‟Ask him again or I‘ll kill him!” The minder signs to Mickey, ‟He will kill you if you do not tell him.” Mickey trembles and signs back, ‟OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Patrick's house.” Gerry asks the minder, ‟What did he say?” The minder replies, ‟He says get stuffed Gerry! You don‘t have the nuts to pull the trigger!”
 
problem us those thank think the BBc report the truth, the real facts , are so wrong. You need to go beyond what u are brainwashed to believe, and find out what is really going on in the world
 
problem us those thank think the BBc report the truth, the real facts , are so wrong. You need to go beyond what u are brainwashed to believe, and find out what is really going on in the world

Oh piss off Pledge, we are still trying to commute your claim that Trump was going to be back as President on the 4th March!
 
A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Many cowboys applied and after an exhaustive process she chose Hank. He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to Hank, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." Hank readily agreed and went into town on Saturday night. One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no Hank. Finally he returned around four o'clock, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him. She quietly called him over to her. "Hank, unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my stockings." He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots. "Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the firelight. "Hank, take off my bra.." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor. Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."
 
The frequency of sexual activity of senior males depends on where they were born. Statistics just released reveal that Africans, Americans, Australians, New Zealander’s and men from Northern Europe between 60 and 80 years of age will have sex once or twice a week. However, Japanese men, in exactly the same age group will have sex only once or twice a year, if they’re lucky. This has come as very upsetting news to a lot of us at the golf club, none of us had any idea we were Japanese!