O/T Fresh Jokes... | Page 9 | Vital Football

O/T Fresh Jokes...

Done a good deed last night, I was n the CO-OP getting a few bits and there was an old lady in front of me in the queue, her bill came to £53.86, but only had just under £50 in change, I thought she was probably someone's Gran and I would like to think someone would have helped my Gran when she was alive, the old lady didn't want my help, but I insisted and we had all her shopping back on the shelves in no time.
 
Man goes into a card shop to buy a card for his mother’s 80th birthday....when he gets to the front of the queue at the till the lady there says “ah, 80 that’s a good a good age, I’m 70 myself you know” “Really?” Says the guy, “you look much younger...bet you can’t guess how old I am” The woman replies “Oh, I really can’t tell “...The man says “I’m 60 me...I look after myself and I’m fit as a fiddle”...He then walks out the shop and gets in a queue for the bus....as his waiting another old lady comes and stands behind him...she says “I’m going to my friends 70 th birthday party...it’s a shame we are all getting old”...The man says “Well, I bet you can’t tell how old I am”...The woman replies “Well, if you let me put my hand down the front of your trousers and rummage around I bet I can tell you exactly how old you are”...”All right says the man with a grin on his face” ...so the old lady puts her hand down the front of his trousers and has a good rummage around for a few minutes and eventually pulls her hand out...”So says the man, how old am I ?”...”You are exactly 60” Says the woman...” And you worked that out by rummaging around down the front of my trousers?”....”No” says the woman “I was standing behind you in the queue in the card shop”.
 
Miss Piggy says to Kermit....Honey will you still love me when I get fat and ugly?

Kermit replies....What....your going to get worse?
 
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